The Ageing Wrestler

I used to do a piledriver
And barely break a sweat –
My ligaments were healthy
And my legs weren’t buggered yet.
I’d leap from on the turnbuckles
And take folks down with ease,
Before I had that trouble
With the fluids in my knees.
My chokeslams were amazing,
I excelled in every hold,
And even though I’m still in shape
I’m getting rather old.
I’ve watched with silent sadness
A beloved friend of mine
Land badly in a cage match
And snap his brittle spine.
Every punch feels harder now,
I take more time to heal
The wrestling world will have to cope
Without me soon, I feel.
The time is soon approaching
When I’ll put away my boots
And they’ll stay there in the cupboard
With my one-piece spandex suits.
But long after I’ve left it
I’ll remember how it felt,
When I heard the crowds applauding
As I held aloft my belt.